Funny Words: Mittens

"I see you're wearing mittens."

"Yes, yes, I've finnally found a good use for them."

"Well I'm sorry, but, I don't think you're supposed to wear them there."

Funny Words: Luncheon

"Did you pack a luncheon for me dear?"

"Did you assume that, because I'm a woman, I must've packed a luncheon for you?"

"So, you didn't, pack a luncheon for me?"

Funny Words: Jujitsu

"I know Kung-fu."

"And I know Jujitsu. You're still a terrible actor."

"Jujitsu? I'm going to learn, jujitsu?"

Funny Words: Lard

"Hey, there's a Black Friday sale on lard!"

"Whoa! We should totally get up at 4AM to get some!"

"Yea! Lard will make a GREAT gift for the kids!"

Funny Words: Spatula

"How will we ever cook this burger on that hot surface?"

"I know! I'll use this spatula!"

"genius!"

Funny Words: Smarmy

"Do you want me to, staple, your, packets?"

"Your superior look, that sleezy smile, my uncontrollable desire to stab you.... you must be smarmy!"

"At your service."

Funny Words: Platypus

"What should we name this thing? I think a portmanteau is in order."

"Well It's like a Duck and a Beaver, so, Deaver? Buck?"

"Platypus it is!"

Funny Words: Tepid

"Honey, would you mind heating up my coffee, it's a bit tepid."

"You were tepid last night, but I couldn't throw you in the microwave."

"My coffee's still tepid."

Funny Words: Billygoat

"Hi, I'm Bill, and this is my billygoat, Bill.

"What an original and clever name for a billygoat!"

"Yes, I'm sure no one else in existence has a billygoat named Bill."

Funny Words: Bogey

"CHK Iceman to Goose you got a Bogey on your tail. CHK"

"CHK Well that doesn't seem so bad. CHK"

"CHK NOOOOOOOOOOO! CHK"

Funny Words: Quench

"Hi, my name is Gatorade."

"Hi, Gatorade, welcome to Thirst Quenchers Anonymous."

"I haven't quenched thirst in 40 years."

Funny Words: Pants

"I see you're wearing pants."

"Yes."

"I wore pants once."

Funny Words: Stat

"Would you grab me a coke from the fridge?"

"Yea, sure."

"STAT!"

Funny Words: Smidge

"How much hot sauce you want on your taco?"

"Just a smidge."

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"